CHEATING HUSBAND, WIFE OR PARTNER.  IT DOESN'T NEED TO HAPPEN.

THE KUHNS REPORT

LAS VEGAS - - Hello America, and how is the world treating you?

 Cheating spouses, secret affairs? They go on more often than one thinks.

There have been numerous surveys gathering information of how many cheat and why they cheat.

Based on some of these surveys, various articles, news reports and interviews with persons from my private practice as a Marriage, Family Counselor: Thirty (30%) percent of cheating men selected  their mistress's who are  younger than their wives. Forty-two (42%) percent believe that their mistress was more attractive than their partner. Interesting disclosure, seventy-four (74%) percent believed that  their partner is more interesting to them than their mistress. That's something.

Then why should a guy seek out a mistress? One major reason, according to many is that their secret lovers come across more caring, seem to be better listeners,  and clearly are more passionate.

Twenty-Five (25%)percent  of the women interviewed said that their lover was younger than their partner with about Sixty-Six (66%) percent of the women saying that their husband or partner is  more attractive than their lover. The cheating women, about Eighty-Nine (89%)  percent said they chose a lover that seemed to appreciate them more than their husbands did.

What does the man want out of their relationship? First and foremost they want SEX. They want a partner who wants sex. What they don't want is a  sex partner just (going through the motions); or having the small kids  in the room or bed. (That's not okay ladies). Or playing the old patronizing game  - - such as, "Well Bill did take out the garbage and helped me clean house as I asked  - -so we'll have sex." And you can bet the guy doesn't appreciate being put down like it's a chore for his partner to have sex with him. Like one guy explained;  My wife told me (Yeah Bob, we're married but if you really must have sex tonight - -I guess it's okay).

My advice to keep from having your husband, wife or partner from straying afield is this:

Pay attention to  your better half.  Listen to what they are saying. Really listen. Talk about things, communicate. Remember the little things and most of all remember the BIG things like anniversaries, birthdays, first time events, etc., and  don't forget  the loving touch. A soft touch or stroke goes a long way. Another hint would be to draw out and solicit ideas, wishes and likes of the other person.  Another idea would be to nurture and sooth your husband, wife or partner.. Most of all "pay attention to their wants and needs.

Guys and gals, do not take for granted your other half . Never take for granted their passion and desire they may have burning inside of them. Never believe that witholding sex comes without consequences and never stop nurturing your own passions. One major "No, "No" - - some place in your years of marriage do not tell your other half that: " Hey honey, I've decided sex is no .longer that important to me." "I'm no longer interested in it that much."

I  talked to many a family where  one of the spouses will get on the Internet and begin looking for something they feel is missing in their life. They troll the chat rooms and even go to the sites that promote and advertise swingers and cheating on your spouse or partner. Ladies and gentlemen that is the wrong way to go. Don't do it. Instead, I wold suggest that you sit down with your wife, husband or partner and TALK. Tell them it is not appropriate for  them to throw away all the work that both of you put into the relationship. Tell them not to throw away the partnership you both put into your sexual relationship.over time. And be up front with the other person and flatly tell them that if they want to go on through life and the years with you that they will have to  repair all of the things that were done to get to this point. COMMUNICATION is a biggie. Do it! - And, that's my opinion. Make your own decisions. You decide.

Bradley W. Kuhns, Ph.D., O.M.D.
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Dr. Kuhns can be reached by email at:
bradleykuhns@gmail.com