The Body Is A Fantastic Machine

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Tuesday, December 31, 2013


BRITNEY SPEARS OPENING IN LAS VEGAS FOR TWO YEARS -HERE'S MY REVIEW

THE KUHNS REPORT

LAS VEGAS - Hello America, and how is the world treating you?

Britney Spears opened her new concert "A Piece Of Me" at Plant Hollywood on the Las Vegas strip a couple days ago. This over-the-hill teeny bopper's performance was less that spectacular. Why Caesars Entertainment signed this lady to a two year contract paying her over $30 million dollars is beyond me. It makes me wonder what these entertainment directors for the large casinos are thinking.

Come on! Here's an old pop wanna-be trying to regain her youthful success. She's not a 16 year old anymore. Hell, she's in her 30's and trying to relive her old days. The show was boring and clearly did not have any sort of connection with the audience. It rolled through her redundant songs of the past. Spears was also absent from any video close-ups on the large screens and was almost like a ghost throughout. She was supposed to be the  star performer but  the show took great pains in limiting her appearance . Strange? You bet. The show was very animated and had the performers looking as though they were just going through moves  by rote process.

The supposed concert( that's a laugh) had Spears prancing and strutting around the stage is various costumes, even as a Angel, with wings. She was buried beneath a slew of dancers. Britney's performance was anything but a concert. The gist of the show was a  cheap imitation of a Cirque show. To cover Britney's shallow performance the show consisted of glitzy set arrangements.  My definition of a  concert is when a performer, with talent,  shows off their vocal, instrumental and entertainment skills. This was not a concert in any way, shape or form.  Spears  lip-sync music was always geared for dance music that fans could dance to, nothing more. To refer to her show as a concert is a misconception.

One couldn't complain about Spears talent because she has none. Spears  had no real communication with the audience. Her verbal skills and interaction with the audience was nil. As to any song stylings,- -it's the same ol', same ol'. This lady has been lip-syncing songs since she began performing as a teen.

When Spears did try to authenticate any actual singing her vocals were squeezed through music processors which had a result of an automated tin sound. Again, not a true vocal line. Instead  it was a bunch of music mixer manipulation. I would have to say Britney didn't sing even one  live note. And guess what - - to soften the complaints of  Spears not  actually singing her  producers and handlers tried to explain that she was singing along with backing tracks - -yeah, right! That still isn't singing vocals for real.

As one of my spies mentioned: It is rumored that she even had her abs sprayed painted to look more buffed. Could be - she's no teenager anymore and doesn't have the curves she used to have.

A question to ponder: Why would anyone want to pay good money to see any person, let alone Spears , PRETEND to sing? I would think an audience would want to be entertained by a performers God given talent. One of Spears DJ friends said;  "People want to hear the song more than they want to hear the singer." Really? then why does Caesars Entertainment pay Spears over $30 Mil? It would be easier to just play the songs through a DJ in the casinos nightclub. It would be cheaper and a savings of millions of dollars. By the way, the tickets are reported to start at $69.00 for the cheap seats and go up from there.

It appears Caesars Entertainment is trying to draw the young crowd into their casino so they decided to opt for a person who fakes singing, a peson who is  non-interesting and likes to pretend to sing. Get this - - she even wears a microphone to give the impression she is  singing. What a joke.

I remember when Las Vegas hired people for their exceptional talent. People like Sinatra and the Rat Pack, Streisand,  Elvis, Ella Fitzgerald, Ann-Margret, Louie Prima and other greats who gave audiences their monies worth. I know there are tons of good talent out there who can sing and perform for real. They don't have to fake the songs and lip-sync while being covered by pre-recorded music tracks made in a music studio.

Personally I think Caesars made a bad move by taking Spears on and  paying her millions over a couple of years. I would suggest they bought a pig in a poke. I think in the not too distant future they will regret this  dumb move. For the $30 Mil they could have hired some great, great, great talent over those two years.

I predict that Spears might run off the rails, crash and possibly burn during her stint at Planet Hollywood. Remember, she has a reputation of pulling some stupid, crazy stunts and exhibits bizarre behavior on occasion. I suggest that if the young crowd doesn't support her on a consistent basis the show will be a flopapalooza in the near future.

If you are an adult and want to take in Spears performance I suggest you  accept it for what it is. Don't expect too much. It's for the young crowd who was brought up in an era where some performers lip-synced and faked vocals. These young people are used to that and probably never saw  real, true talent on stage. If you are in that age group that was brought up on  the plastic, imitation entertainers who like to pretend they are performing and lip-sync songs  then this show might be for you. However, Spears performance reminds me of  a person  standing on stage doing karaoke with a million dollar budget behind them.

Bottom line: Here's my review of Spears so called concert. I'll use two scales to grade her. First scale: A to F, with A being best. On this scale I would give the show a D-. The second scale is from One to Ten, with ten being best. On this scale I would give the show a Three (3). - -  And,  that's my opinion Make your own decisions. You decide.

Bradley Kuhns, Ph.D., O.M.D.
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Dr. Kuhns can be reached by email at:
bradleykuhns@gmail.com

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